I could feel Michael rubbing my arm and it snapped me out the vision or dream or whatever it is that is happening to me. He was looking at me with concern written all over his face. “What just happened to you? I tried to wake you from what ever that was and you didn’t budge. You’re eyes were wide open but moving like REM sleep. What were you seeing?” he asked. “I, I was remembering something from my child hood.” I said. “That’s not a good enough answer you were like catatonic for over twenty minutes and I want the entire story, you scared the shit out of me, Susan,” demanded Michael. “I don’t know Michael, I don’t know if I want to share this part of my life. I would rather forget it.” I plead. “Susan, I have been very patient with you and have tried to just let you unfold your past as you see fit, but this is different. I want to know what is going on. I want you to trust me enough to tell me everything,” he said with that finality that works on everyone, so I caved in and told him everything. “I don’t want you to think I am crazy, do you promise not to look at me differently or think differently of me?” I asked. “I promise never to think you are crazy now spill,” he said. “This started after I called that client Jennifer the first time, as soon as I got finished on the phone with her I was looking out the window and the first vision happened. I was in a judge’s chamber and he was asking me questions and I was crying. I don’t remember this actually happening as a child, which doesn’t really surprise me because I looked maybe four or five at the time. Then when you asked me to dinner and I was cleaning off my desk and the second vision hit me. I was in court and being taken away from my mother by my father The judge just ruled in his favor and I was leaving the court house with my father and she was crying and screaming that she loved me and hoped I would never forget her and that she would never stop trying to get me back. Then I had another I was ten or so at a child’s party at a park and I wandered off into the adjacent forest and got lost. Just when I was feeling scared this women came out from no where and asked me if I needed help. I was crying and said yes so she took me back to the party. No one even noticed that I was missing but as soon as my dad saw I was walking holding hands with this lady, he told me to go play and then I saw him fighting with her. I have no idea who that woman was but as soon as they finished fighting he said we were leaving the party. Then just now the vision was after the last one, it felt like it had been a couple of days I was playing out side my dad and mom were fighting. I now know she wasn’t my biological mom but she was the only mom I knew. I couldn’t hear exactly what they were saying so I moved closer pretending to smell flowers. I heard him say, “How did she find us. It has been five years since we moved and she found us. We might need to move again and I don’t want to uproot her again. I don’t care if she says she has changed I can’t put my daughter in danger. She was a sick lady when I petitioned the court to remove Susie from her care.” Just then he noticed how close I was and lowered his voice, but I think I heard him say that that woman at the park was my mom. How could that be, why didn’t I recognize her? And then you woke me from the vision and that is everything I can remember” I exhaled and looked Michael in the eyes as I was lying across his lap. “Have you been having these visions your whole life?” he asked. “I don’t think so, I mean not that I remember” I responded. “Do you know what ever happened with your biological mother?” he asked. “I didn’t know that the woman that raised me was not my mother until after they died in a car accident when I was sixteen” I said. “What! You never told me your parents died in a car accident when you were sixteen. Why have you never shared this with me?” he asked. “It was a long time ago and I did not want to dredge up all those feelings again. It was a dark time in my life and I did not want to re-live it,” I said. Michael waited a moment, I could tell he was trying to say the right thing then finally he said, “Do you think your subconscious is trying to make you remember so you can find her, maybe even have a relationship with her?” he added. “I’m not sure, I have been trying to put it out of my mind and move on, but these visions keep happening and now I’m not sure of anything regarding this.” I said. “Will you tell me about your parent’s death?” he asked. “I don’t know Michael, It was a very hard time for me and I don’t want to re-live it.” I plead. “Susan, I shared with you the darkest most devastating time of my life a secret that not even Jarred completely knows. I wish you could trust me enough to share things with me,” he asked. “Ok, I will tell you but then I never want to talk about it again” I said. “I can’t promise that, because if it’s hurting you we have to work through it. Ignoring it is only going to hurt you and me in our future,” he said. I sat there for a moment longer thinking about my past and whether or not I should share this with him. I know I can trust him, I love him and he only wants to help me. I think if I don’t tell him he is never going to open up to me in the future and I want him to continue opening up to me, but I also can’t handle all this sadness. I need to share this with him and maybe I can actually move past this. So I finally let go of my fears and opened up to him.
“I was sixteen, and had already graduated from high school. My dad took us out to dinner to celebrate my graduation then afterwards there was a graduation party at this restaurant I loved. I had a bunch of friends from school there and my parents decided to let me stay longer and went home. Apparently on the way home my dad went around a sharp corner and there were some deer in the way, he hit one and went over an embankment. The embankment went down to a river where they drowned. I didn’t leave the restaurant for a couple of hours and when I was done a friend drove me home. When I got home they weren’t there yet. I got worried. So I started calling their cell phones. Someone answered, He said for me to come to the police station. I did, and when I got there, there were social services and a bunch of people I had never met. I knew instantly what was going on I knew my parents had died. I ran back out the door of the police station, I dropped to my knees and cried. This really nice lady came up to me and helped me back into the police station. She explained to me what happened and said they didn’t suffer. She said they likely died on impact from the deer. They wanted a foster family to take me but I didn’t want them. I filed for emancipation and won. I was already the lawyer type and I enrolled myself into college. I went only back to get my things before I left for college. A few months after I was in college I man came to my dorms and said he was the executer of my fathers will. My father had life insurance and had set a trust fund for me. My college was paid for and so was my family home. I was sixteen and would possibly never need money again. I went a little crazy shopping for a while. Then buying a new car, my Lexus that was wrecked Monday was my first major purchase. I thought about selling my house but decided not to. I had a real estate agent rent it out for a while but when the last people moved out I decided against renting it out again. Maybe because I still couldn’t go back there, maybe because I just didn’t care. I am not sure, but none of that matters because the house was burnt down and now I have nothing from parents left. Just like you all that I have left is in my memories,” I said now crying. “I’m sorry honey, please don’t cry, I didn’t want you to be upset, please what can I do?” asked Michael. “There is nothing anyone can do, all this is too much, I can’t take anymore stress and sadness, please make it stop, I don’t want to feel this way, this is why I have never told anyone, not a sole about this,” I said crying even harder that before. Michael picked me up into his arms and carried me upstairs to his bedroom. He carefully undressed me and then put me into his bed and covered me up. Michael left the room for a moment and came back with a glass of wine for me. I thanked him a chugged it down it one gulp. He smiled and asked if I wanted more, I shook my head yes and he went to get me more. This time he brought the whole bottle back and a glass for himself. We sat in his bed not talking just drinking. It was exactly what I needed. Before too long we finished the bottle and were both a little buzzed and smiling at each other. “Susan, do want to take a bath?” he asked. I thought about it for a minute and said “Yes only if you’re going to take one with me,” I asked. As always he agreed and then started the bath for us. I was already naked but Michael was still completely dressed, so I gestured for him to come here and I undressed him. I love the feel of his body under my hands. I think he loves being stripped by me because before I could take off his boxer briefs he was hard under my hands. I smiled at him and he let out a deep laugh and took me into his arms and kissed me. This was a hard passionate kiss that left my lips feeling bruised swollen and wanting more. But instead he led me to the bathroom to take our bath but before we entered the bathroom, Michaels kissed me again and asked “Do you want more wine?” “Sure” I responded. Soon he disappeared down stairs to get another bottle of wine. I entered the bathroom and it took my breath away. Michael had lit about thirty candles and had brought up some roses from downstairs putting them in the bathroom. There were even rose petals in the water. This is the most romantic setting I have ever seen. This is amazing, he is amazing I can’t believe he did this without me even seeing him do this, I must have been more out of it then I thought. Michael returned with our wine and refilled our glasses. We climbed in the bath together and held each other and drank our wine, it was beautiful. After a few minutes of silence Michael asked me if I wanted to find my biological mother. I told him I wasn’t sure so he dropped it. We kissed for a while and held each other until the water went cold. I got up to get out of the tub and Michael stopped me before I could get away, he grabbed on and said “Where do you thing you are going?” he asked playfully. “The waters cold and I thought we could move to the shower,” I responded. He smiled and said, “Good answer.” We both got out on the tub and went to the shower area. I reached in and turned it on to get the steamer ready. I love this shower not only does it have all those shower heads and the rain from the ceiling but it is also a steam room. Before I climbed in Michael swung me around and back into his arms. We stood there completely naked, every inch of our bodies touched, he had turned on the music and we slow danced naked while the shower got ready. We kissed for a while and he was teasing every inch of my body, I let out a small moan and he picked me up causing me to wrap my legs around his waist, which I know he loved because he was already hard and ready for more. But instead he opened to shower door and carried me inside. He sat on the shower seat and started to release me instead I inserted him inside me. Michael smiled and looked into my eyes as our bodies performed the act we both loved. I was on top my breasts pressed to his chest and my hips were grinding into his. His mouth found my breast and he kissed and sucked on my nipples, which were still a little sensitive from the abuse from last night. He stood up pushed me up against the shower wall my legs still wrapped around him and he took charge. He is so strong and large inside me. I can feel him throbbing inside of my body. The water was pelting us and he was kissing me everywhere. I was starting to tire from this position, and reached over and shut the water off. Never pulling out of me or letting go of me he carried me out of the shower and onto the floor. He had already laid towels on the floor. Soon we were lying on the floor making love. He pulled out suddenly, and started kissing his way down my body knowing exactly where he was going I smiled and opened my legs. He went down on me and was pleasing me orally. He could tell I was going to come because suddenly he inserted himself in me and continue making love to me. Being on the floor makes my body stay put when he pushed himself into me with more of an intense deepness then before so deep is hurt, but in a good way. In minutes I was coming and he was increasing his speed as he too came. His body was convulsing on top of me which caused me to come a second time, he felt me climaxing again and continued thrusting himself into me until we were both screaming out, I grabbed on to him forcing to him to stop and just lay on top of me. He began to relax his body with him still inside me. We were both sweating and he rolled over on his back and let out a deep breath. “Michael, that was, was, wow!” I said in a whisper. He rolled over looked at me and said, “I know, wow, do you know that I have never felt this way with any other women before? When I am inside you it’s the most complete feeling I have ever felt in my life. All sex is good for men, but with you, I can’t explain it like my whole body is affected and on fire, but in a good way. Where ever you touch me leaves a lasting tingling. God you are amazing, Susan I think you like to distract me with your body. Every time we get on a deep subject we end up in bed.” “Yeah, I do, I’m not going to lie and it works every time. But it also takes away all the stress and sadness I feel when we are talking about those subjects. For that I don’t and won’t apologize,” I said with a smile on my face. I then got up and went to turn back on the shower. I needed to clean up after that sexual experience. Michael got up and joined me in the shower it was all business though. Wow, an actual non sexual bathing experience. We quickly rinsed and got to our fresh towels and were drying off in minutes, we had used up all the hot water taking baths and making love in the shower, so this was a fast shower. I walked into my closet from the bathroom and picked out a night gown to wear to bed, Michael stood in the entrance watching as always. For some reason he liked to watch me decide on what to wear, so I decided on a sexy little number that was black yet completely see through. Michael shook his head and smiled. He said, “That looks even better on you than I thought it would.” I laughed and walked towards our bed. Before I could walk past him he grabbed and picked me up into his arms and carried me to bed. Thinking he wanted more sex, I said, “Michael, I don’t think my body can handle anymore sex, you know you are not a little man god gave you the gift of a very large penis and my body appreciates that, however I believe I am a little raw, if you know what I mean.” Michael laughed and kissed me. “I feel the same way, raw, but it’s just so damn good, I can’t help but want you constantly, and then you wear this and look at me I’m turned on and going to have to try to go to sleep with a hard on,” he said as he surveyed my body. “I could go down on you, if you want me to,” smiling at him I pushed him on the bed. “That’s ok, you don’t have to it will go away soon enough,” he said not believing a word that was coming out of his mouth. “I want to, you are always pleasing me and I want to return the favor,” I said as I kissed him and worked my way down his body. He stopped me before I made it past his belly button and said, “Susan, just because I am hard doesn’t mean I need you to do this, If you did this every single time I was hard you be would be on your knees all day long, because every single time I look at you I get turned on. I think we should just go to sleep.” “What ever you want my love, you know I love to do this for you If you want me to,” I said smiling and kissing his chest. Then I collapsed into bed next to him. He kissed me good night and wrapped his arms around me and next thing we new it was morning and time to wake up.
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