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Friday, December 31, 2010

More devistating family secrets are revealed along with a glimmer into Susan's future with Michael

It has been easily an hour since he went in his office and he still has not come out. I wonder what is going on or what he is hiding. I decided to look at my closet again and check out all my cool new clothes. So I got off the bed and walked into my closet. Once again I was totally shocked by my present from Michael. He went a little over board I counted fifteen new suits some are three pieces, there are at least thirty pairs of dress shoes, five pairs of boots and about fifteen pairs of sneakers. Michael even bought me three different pairs of slippers. He had the most fun with my night clothes because there are at least twenty complete sets of sexy lingerie. He even bought me some pleasure accessories if you know what I mean. How embarrassing Jarred had to go to the Castle Mega Store and buy me sexual toys. I would have rather he not had him buy those and we go together instead but oh well, maybe in the future I will drag him there. He thought of everything, I am floored. I have never owned so much clothing in my life. This is too much, I will find a way to pay him back whether he likes it or not. There has to be something I can do. Suddenly I felt like I was being watched so I turned around and sure enough there was Michael watching me, he had a forced smile on his face. “Are you happy with what I had purchased for you?” he asked with a sort of hesitation in his voice. I got up and walked over to him, put my arms around his neck and kissed him. He pulled away but not before giving me a little kiss and touched our noses. I walked over to the drawer that held the new toys he purchased for me and pulled out some vibrating panties and said, “Really, you had Jarred buy me sex toys? How embarrassing, now Jarred knows I am a sexual deviant. I would have rather went with you to purchase such items instead of your assistant/best friend buying them.” “Actually, I went and bought those for you!” he said with a smile on his face. I blushed terribly. “Why are you embarrassed? I love that you aren’t afraid in the bedroom, I love that we can do anything together sexually,” he said as he patted me on the ass. I giggled and hugged him again. “Michael you are so bad, when did you find the time to purchase those?” I asked playfully. “I actually bought those a few days ago, but with all the craziness I hadn’t found the time to give them to you. I figured you’d get curious enough to go through your closet and find them eventually, anything you want to try out?” he asked with a smile that I new was only the beginning of things to come. “Well since you’ve mentioned it these flavored joy jellies look like fun!” I laughed as he grabbed me and kissed me again.  “Are you hungry?” he asked.  “A little, besides me what did you have in mind?” I asked. “Do you want to go out to dinner or eat in?  I could also have something delivered,” he asked. “I want what ever you want,” I replied. “Susan, that’s not what I asked, I don’t care either way. Plus I had a bunch of groceries delivered so I could cook if you want me to. But like I said before it is whatever you want,” he said slightly snippy. “Fine Mr. Grouch, I want you to cook for me, Naked!” I said. He laughed, stripped and said, “As you wish my princess.”

Chapter Six

We went down stairs to the kitchen together. This time I was going to witness him actually cooking me a meal and he was really naked and not just joking when he stripped off his clothes. I watched in amazement, he is a master in the kitchen. I poured us glasses of wine and sat on the counter watching him. There is nothing sexier that a man in the kitchen cooking and naked. Well not completely naked he had on an apron. I watched him prepare our food with his cute butt showing out of the back of the apron. I should take a picture, this is priceless. Michael could tell I was ogling and kept giving me a look telling me to stop, or I am going to do things to you that are going to keep me from preparing our food. But I didn’t care, I love watching him he is so damn sexy. Michael realized I wasn’t going to stop distracting him, so when he put the chicken in the oven he came after me. I saw him coming and he had a look on his face that I new was trouble, so I screamed and ran. He caught me before I could get far and pulled me onto the floor pinning my arms down. He started kissing me and nibbling on my neck and then to my breasts. I relaxed against his touch and he released my hands. I took advantage of that fact and pushed him off of me and on to his back. With me on top of him I reversed the roles, I straddled him, and this time I was kissing him and biting him gently and every so often a little bit roughly. He laughed and said ouch, but loved it. I kissed him and then released him feeling him hard and ready under my body. Feeling ready myself quickly got off him and nonchalantly got up and walked away heading for the living room. He knew I was teasing him and quickly got up saying, “Oh, no you don’t!” Once again I screamed and ran from him but he is so fast, because before I could reach the hallway he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder smacking my ass as carried me to his bedroom. When we got to his bedroom he tossed me roughly onto the bed. I love it when he is rough it’s such a turn on.  He knew what I was thinking and went into my closet and retrieved the tasty treats he bought from the sex shop. “Which one do you want? Apple or watermelon?” he asked. “They both sound good you pick” I suggested.  Before he returned from my closet I had taken off my nightgown and was laying naked on his bed. He smiled and came quickly to the bed. He climbed on top of me, took the jelly and squeezed some on each nipple and began to lick it off, then grabbing the other bottle and repeated the process. “Both are good,” He then put a little bit on the head of his penis and said “Give it a taste!” I got up and kneeled on the floor before him and began lick it off. He loves this because his eyes rolled back in his head and he laid flat on the bed while I did my magic. Every once it a while I would add a little more flavoring and then continue on with pleasing him, soon he was moaning and before I knew it he came. He quickly got up and kissed his way down my body to return the favor. He dripped a little of both flavors on me and immediately went down on me. Michael is so good at oral sex it almost too good because in minutes he had me screaming out in ecstasy. He stopped and came back to the bed and kissed me, his mouth was sticky from the syrup. I liked his lips clean which turned him on even more. He rolled over with a new erection showing I climbed on top of him and immediately started moving him in and out of me. He felt so good in my body that I came again quickly, but he wouldn’t let me stop, he continued in and out of me until I came a third time and finally he came. We laid there for a moment recovering from the strenuous act of love making when the alarm on the oven went off. He smiled and said “Duty calls.” He jumped up and ran back downstairs to tend to dinner. I got up and went to the bathroom to clean up his mess. I walked in the bathroom and looked at my naked body in the mirror, I was bruised everywhere and had little hickeys from where he had been sucking on me. I cleaned up, put back on my nightgown, and went back down to the kitchen. He was once again doing his magic and cooking like a pro. “Michael, you covered me with hickeys,” I said. “No way, I hardly sucked on you at all, let me see?” he said. I pulled down the nightgown exposing one breast showing him his handy work; he laughed as he kissed my breast. “Its not funny, are there any on my neck?” I asked. “Let me see” he said. I moved over to him and he lifted my hair, before I could stop him he leaned in and sucked on my neck giving me the mother of all hickeys. “Michael stop damn it!” I screamed. I pushed him away and stormed upstairs to the bathroom. Fuck, he gave me a huge hickey that only a large turtleneck will hide. I could hear him laughing. I yelled down to him “It’s not funny!” I turned on the shower and got in. I needed to wash off all the jelly from my body it is still very sticky. The shower felt great, he has one of those enclosed showers that have several shower heads that hit you in all the right places. After about ten minutes I shut off the water and got out, drying off as I walked to my closet to get some clothing on. I tried to find the least sexy outfit he bought me but of course everything was designer and very attractive. Finally settling on jeans and a v-neck t-shirt. When I went back downstairs Michael had finished cooking and put food on a plate for me. I sat at the table and started to eat the chicken and rice he made. It was delicious. He stood there naked and waited for my approval. I looked at him and said, “It’s fantastic! I worked up quite an appetite, are you going to eat?” “No I nibbled the whole time I was cooking and I am no longer hungry,” he said. I looked at him and said, “You should get dressed, I want to go for a walk to the bakery and get dessert.” He ignored me for a moment then finally went upstairs. “You don’t have to go if you don’t to want to I can run quickly, by myself.” I yelled upstairs. “No I want to go, you don’t get to get rid of me that easy, nor will you be going anywhere alone,” he said. Shortly after he came strolling back downstairs dressed impeccable as usual. He was wearing blue jeans a rolling stones t-shirt and his hair was freshly styled. God he is beautiful. “Do you want to walk there or drive?” he asked. “Walking there sounds fun, lets walk” I replied. “Walking it is then,” he replied casually. “Michael, did you get me a coat? I didn’t think to check and it looks like it might be a little cold outside” I asked. “No, I forgot, I’ll get you one of mine, do you want a scarf to cover up my love bites?” he asked with a little too much pride on his face. “No, I want everyone to look at me and know what I been doing but thank you for asking,” I said with a snide tone to my voice. He laughed as he came to the table taking my plate to the sink. I got up and ran back upstairs to get some shoes. I chose some cute white and baby blue sneakers, they match my shirt perfectly and then walked downstairs to put on Michael’s coat. Before I could grab the coat he took it and helped me put it on.  Michael is always a perfect gentleman I love that about him, however the hickeys are not cool.  He opened the door and led me out of the house locking the door as we left. Before I got to the end of the stairs he was there to take my hand, we laced our fingers together and walked toward the bakery. The bakery is about a ten minute walk from his house and it’s a lovely walk. All the houses are amazing in his neighborhood. All Victorian and restored to their original glory. I could totally see us raising a family here. “Michael, do you really want more children?” I asked. “Only with you,” he replied quickly. “When, do you want to have children?” I asked. “I would have them tomorrow if you would let me, or at least we could practice a lot!” he said grinning. “My only hesitation with starting a family is my career plus I always thought I would get married before I had children, but I definitely want two at least,” I replied.  Michael stopped and turned to me and said, “I would marry you tomorrow, but I know you won’t do it. I would gladly spend the rest of my life with you but I know you’re not sure about us. You won’t even let me tell everyone about us,” he said with a slightly sad look on his face that he quickly shook off. “I want to tell people about us but I just don’t want them to treat me differently. I have only worked one day and they already hate me,” I said. “Susan, no one hates you, why do you think that?” he asked. “Because when you introduced me at the meeting everyone glared at me and rolled their eyes,” I said. “Susan, you’ve got to stop caring what others think of you, you may be new but you are ten times more talented than anyone there. If they are anything they are jealous,” he said. We continued walking in silence until we reached the bakery. Once in the bakery everything looked good but I couldn’t make up my mind. Michael promptly took over and ordered several different pastries. After paying we grabbed our bag and turned to leave but standing in our way was Sunny the perky receptionist from the office. Michael smiled and said hi. She kept staring at us wide eyed and then I realized why, she was looking at my neck and the love bites Michael gave me a little while ago. I blushed instantly and she got a wicked smile on her face. “So you too are together huh?” Sunny asked. Michael and I both looked at each other and said “Yes for the last few years.” “Wow, that’s great, I knew something was up with both of you gone all week, Jarred was too tight lipped about your absences. I looked at her and said, “I was in a car accident Monday night and Michael’s been taking care of me, then my house was burnt down Wednesday night so it’s been a shitty week. Please don’t go back to work and talk about our relationship. We are both private people and don’t want our private lives on blast.” “No problem, it’s none of any ones business what you two do, I won’t say anything, but no one is going to care. Offices are like whore houses everyone is sleeping with everyone else,” said Sunny.  Just then Jarred walked in and over to Sunny kissing her on the lips. I was shocked. This is perfect. Michael and I could have friends maybe it will give us another activity besides sex. We said our goodbyes and started to walk home. I was shocked, I had no idea Jarred was seeing anyone let alone Sunny. She is perfect for him, I’m really happy for them. But I shouldn’t be that surprised considering I don’t really know him. I didn’t even know that Jarred knew about me. I looked in the bag to see what Michael picked out and it was full all the way to the top he must have bought one of everything. “Michael, thank you but I don’t want to get fat,” I said. “It’s ok if you get fat honey, I will love you anyways. This can be practice for when you get pregnant with our child and I have to go buy you treats because you are having cravings,” he said with a little smile on his face. I shook my head and said, “Lets not get ahead of ourselves, we aren’t married and I want to have a career before I have to stay home with kids. I am not quite ready, not to say that some day soon I won’t be ready.”  “I know I am just kidding, but what if I could fund your own private pro-bono law firm that you could run from home and you could do only the cases you wanted, would that be enough incentive for you to choose to expedite becoming the mother of my children?” asked Michael.  I stopped and looked at him and hugged him and said, “You know me too well, you know that’s all I have ever wanted was to help people, you would really create a law firm just to help people?” “I would create a law firm to make you happy, helping people and having my children are a wonderful bi-product. Ultimately happiness and you are all I care about,” he said. I let go of him and grasped his hand and continued walking down the street. It was a surreal experience Michael would do anything to make me happy and be with me. Is this really what I want? I know I love him but I feel like all this is happening so fast and that scares me. I have got to find a way to slow things down a bit. But why?  He is everything I have ever wanted in a man, he is honorable, terrific in bed and he would do anything to make me happy. I still don’t think I deserve him, god I’m pathetic. I wish I could just find a way to stop questioning everything and just love when I’m in love, but that’s the problem I don’t want to get hurt and love hurts. We continued to walk in silence all the way back to Michael’s house. He led me up the stairs and opened the door leading me in the house. We walked into the living room and I plopped on the couch still trying to get my mind to enjoy the now and not worry about the future. Michael could tell something was up with me so he came over and sat down on the couch next to me and put his hand on my leg. “What are you thinking about? You haven’t said a word since we left the bakery. I know I dropped a lot on you, and I don’t expect you to say yes, I was just providing you with options for our future. Nothing has to be decided right this second,” he said. “You can’t drop something like that on me and expect that I am not a little shocked, I am just trying to process what you have said to me. I just need a minute. Ok, don’t worry I am not going to run away, I promise,” I said with stress written all over my face.  He looked a little stressed himself but said, “No problem, I will be in my office if you need me.”  Michael got up from the couch and went up to his office, his head was not held high. In fact he looked a little upset. I sat there a little longer calming myself and realized I am a complete idiot. Michael was just trying to give me options not take over my life. He is just trying to make me happy in anyway he can think of, he is also trying to be happy himself. God I am dense. I got up from the couch and ran up the stairs to his office. I didn’t even knock I just opened the door and entered. He was sitting at his desk facing his computer. He didn’t turn around to face me. I walked over to his desk and turned his chair to face me. He wouldn’t even look me in the eyes. I climbed on his lap and kissed him, at first he wouldn’t kiss back he just sat there quiet. Finally, I decided to say something. “Michael, I’m sorry, I was being stupid earlier. I want all of those things you suggested, every bit of it with you and no one else. I hope you understand. It’s just that a lot has happened in the last few days and I started to freak out and think things were moving a little too fast. Do you understand where I am coming from?” “Yes, I get it you want those things but you’re just not ready. When are your going to be ready, we have been together for two years. I feel as though you are never going to be ready and I don’t ever want to get hurt as I have in the past. I love you Susan and I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” he said still looking a lot defeated. “I have never told you this before, but I think I should tell you this now. I remember the day we met very clearly like it was yesterday. I remember how you smelled when you helped me pick up the books I dropped. In fact, I didn’t run into you because I wasn’t watching out where I was walking, I ran into you on purpose. I was watching you interview intern candidates and was very intrigued by you. When I crashed into you and our bodies touched it was like electricity passed between us. I have never felt that from anyone before. When you helped me pick up my books you kept touching me and every time I would feel that again. It scared me then and still does. I quickly thanked you and left. I knew you followed me to my dorm but I acted like I didn’t see you. I kept telling myself I should stop and talk to you. I felt like there was something different about you. I did some research on you to make sure you weren’t a psycho stalker. Every night I would dream about you, mostly illicit I must admit, but it turned into more. I dreamed about a future with you. I have never thought of having a future before. All my life I have always chosen to live in the now never letting any man get slightly close to me. I don’t want to say I was promiscuous but I had needs and was not ashamed to take care of them. Every time you came to my dorm to ask about me I looked out my window, I new then I had to get to know you so I told myself after months of you coming to my dorm trying to find me that if you came one more day you could have my name and you did, so I gave you my name. The next day you came and asked me to dinner I was so excited of course I said yes I was waiting for this for as long as you were. That dinner was magical to me I could hardly believe it was real. I have never felt more comfortable with anyone before in my life. The next date you invited me to your house and we ate dinner on the deck and looked at the stars. It was the most romantic night I have ever experienced and a night I will remember the rest of my life. You were nervous, so I kissed you first. That was also the night we first made love, it was amazing outside under the stars. It was warm that night as we lay curled up in each others arms for hours talking completely naked. That was when I first fell in love with your balcony and I kind of new I loved you then also. Anyways you know the rest because we have pretty much spent everyday together since then.” Michael was finally starting to relax and stop worrying. He looked me in the eyes and kissed me. It wasn’t a sexual kind of kiss. It was the kiss that romance novels were written about.  We pulled apart and Michaels asked me, “Susan, do you see us getting married and having a future? Because I do and I don’t want to be hurt if you can’t handle the way I feel about you.” “Did you not hear a word of what I just said to you? I just told you how much I love you and have this entire time. Yes I see us getting married and having children. It is all I think about. I even have dreams about us constantly,” I said with impatience. “I’m sorry, I’m just feeling insecure, I basically asked you to marry me and have my children and you acted like I was taking away your freedom. I can give you any life style you wish. I just want you to be with me, I have never wanted to be with anyone more then I want to be with you,” he said kissing me again. “Michael, I will only have a life if it includes you, but I also want to be a lawyer. As soon as I am an established lawyer I will want nothing more then to be your wife and then the mother of your children. Are you ok with that time line?” I asked.  “Just as long as it’s a future that includes you, that is all that matters to me. My only request is that you don’t take so long that we are unable to have any children because we are old,” said Michael finally putting a smile on his face. We kissed again and went back downstairs to watch a movie.
The rest of the evening was spent curled up on the couch for hours watching movie after movie just enjoying each others presence. I tried watching the movies but after   a few minutes I was deep into another of those visions like I had before. I was ten or so again and I was playing outside alone. My dad and his wife, I now called her mom were fighting. He was pissed about that lady at the park the other day. I could almost hear what they were saying but not quite good enough so I pretended to the flower smell flowers by the window. I heard him say, “How did she find us. It has been five years since we moved and she has found us. We might need to move again but I don’t want to uproot her again. I don’t care if she says she has changed I can’t put my daughter in danger. She was a sick lady when I petitioned the court to remove Susie from her care.” Just then he noticed how close I was to the window and lowered his voice, but I thought I heard him say that the woman at the park was my mom. How could that be, why didn’t I recognize her? I started to get scared maybe everything in my life is a lie.

Friday, December 17, 2010

The future of a life so beautiful, it couldn't possibly be real or is it!

That night I dreamt of a future I knew I would have with Michael and it was fantastic. I just new it was a glimmer into our future. Standing in the kitchen I peaked into the living room and there was Michael playing with our daughter. She was adorable with dark brown hair and emerald green eyes just like her daddy. She had dimples like me and my family’s clef chin. I can’t believe I am actually a mother to a beautiful little daughter and pregnant with another and I know it’s a boy. The feeling of complete happiness was absolutely amazing, I never wanted to wake up from this paradise, but deep inside I knew it was a dream and that soon my reality would take over. Suddenly there was a loud boom and clanking that woke me from my paradise. I opened my eyes and jumped from my bed, Michael was still beside me. I thought for a second I was still sleeping and that my beautiful dream was fast turning to a nightmare. But then I could smell smoke. I shook Michael and screamed “You have to wake up, there is a fire.” Scrambling to gets some clothes on and grab some meaningful items I ran to the door, just like they trained you in school I touched the door with the back of my hand and sure enough it was hot as hell. “Michael, my house is on fire, we have to find another way out.” Michael walked to my bedroom door, kicked it in and sure enough the whole house was on fire. We ran to my bedroom window tried to open but it was stuck. The smoke was starting to get to me, but Michael was one step ahead of me and broke out the bedroom window. “Susan, we are going to have to jump, unless we can climb to that tree from your roof,” he said trying to keep me awake. “I think we can make it to the tree, let’s try the tree, before I break both my legs falling out the second story window.” Michael lifted me up to the roof and soon he was standing next to me. We franticly ran to the other side of the house where we could reach the tree branches and started to climb onto a branch. Soon we were at the trunk and climbing down to safety. Before we could reach the bottom the fire trucks arrived. A fire fighter gave us oxygen and checked our vitals. The fire fighter said we both looked good but recommended we go to the hospital just to be safe, Michael declined but insisted I go. I of course refused. “I can’t believe I lost everything I own what am I going to do and where am I going to live while my house gets fixed?” I said feeling numb. “Like you even have to ask, you know you are more than welcome to live with me while all this gets figured out. Also I will take you shopping later today so you can get some new clothes and toiletries,” he said as he rapped his arms around me. “Michael, I can’t accept all that from you and are you sure you want me living with you?” I asked. “Susan If I had my way you would have been living with me months ago,” he said trying to comfort me “Are you sure? I could rent an apartment. I don’t want to be a burden to you,” I said.  Michael held me tighter as he realized how this was affecting me. The realization of what just happened hit me like a ton of bricks and I started sobbing. He kept whispering that everything will be ok and not to worry that I would never be a burden to him and that he would love nothing more than me living with him indefinitely. I cried for what seemed like an eternity when the police said they were done and leaving.
After the police and fire department left Michael and I walked in my house to see if there were anything worth saving but all that was left was charred and water logged. Once again I cried. My face had clear lines from my tears running through the soot on my face. I have nothing left, no clothes, furniture or even pictures. Luckily my purse was in my bedroom and I was able to carry that with me on the roof. Turning to Michael I asked “What do you think happened?” He shrugged his shoulders and said “The fire chief said they would have a report ready in the next week or so and that you should call your insurance agent to report the fire.” I shrugged my shoulders in response and walked out of my burnt down house and sat on the stairs. All my pictures are gone of my parents and childhood. It feels like I don’t even exist anymore.  I got up and started walking around aimlessly in a circle, before I could continue, Michael grabbed my arm. “Why don’t we go to my place shower and go shopping so you have a few items you’ll need to feel human again?” he asked trying to take my mind of what could have happened to us. “I’m not sure I can handle shopping will you just get me out of here,” I said franticly. “Sure, but we still need to do some shopping you have only what you are wearing and I’m sure you don’t want to meet with clients in pj’s,” he said trying hard to comfort me. “I know but I can’t think about that right know when all I want to do is take a bath and cry.” We drove in silence to Michael’s house. I walked in and went straight to Michael’s master bathroom. He has the most perfect bathroom with a huge two person jetted tub. I started running water and put some bath salts in the water. I climbed in and laid there for a long time with my eyes closed. All I could think about was how did this happen, we were asleep together and then there was all that noise before I smelled the smoke. I know every appliance was off because I checked them before I went to bed. I wonder if someone started this fire, who would want to hurt me and Michael. We have not done anything to anyone. I don’t have any enemies. God this is crazy. I opened my eyes to see Michael standing in the door way looking at me intently. “How are you doing? Can I get you a glass of wine or something?” he asked with a smile on his face. “Wine sounds really nice, thank you,” I said closing my eyes again.  Without another word Michael left to get me some wine and I was once again alone with my own thoughts. We could have died or been seriously hurt in that fire. Why did this happen? What am I going to do if its arson? I am so scared. I have never felt so lost and helpless in my life. Soon Michael was back with a large glass of white wine. He turned to leave, but before he left I asked him to sit with me. Michael’s bathroom is so large and it has a beautiful settee along side the tub. “Will you turn on some music?” I asked. “Sure” he said then walked to the stereo and turned it on. “Why don’t you take a shower, you look terrible just like I did before I stared this bath.  Soon he was in the adjacent shower getting cleaned up. The fire has left us both covered with soot and smelling like smoke. I finished washing myself and started to towel dry my hair. Michael came over to me naked and rapped me up with a robe. It was his robe and it smelled just like him. I love the way he smells. I walked over to his bed, took off the robe and climbed under the covers hoping to just rest a while, hopefully after a little nap I will be able to come up with a game plan to get my life back in order. It took about two seconds before I was sound asleep. The days events had completely wiped me out and I needed to regroup. It felt like I had just closed my eyes when Michael was waking me up. I opened my eyes to realize I had been asleep several hours because it was dark outside. “Are you hungry?” asked Michael. “Yes, I’m starved.” I got up and put back on the robe Michael let me borrow after my bath and walked downstairs to the kitchen. Too my surprise there was a candle lit dinner waiting for me. Michael had once again thought of everything. There were red roses and the table was set and ready for us to eat. Dinner was steak, steamed veggies, salad, and garlic mashed potatoes and it smelled wonderful. He pulled out my chair and waited for me to sit down scooting in my chair like the perfect gentleman he is. After about three glasses of wine and this amazing dinner we moved to the couch and started to watch a movie. We were wrapped up in each others arms and engrossed in this really funny love story. This is exactly what I needed considering these crazy last few days. Michael realized I was no longer watching the movie and just staring at him. He smiled and said “What are you staring at?” “Only the most amazingly sexy man I have ever seen or known in my life, thank you for taking care of me today.” I said as I kissed his hand. “You are welcome, I am glad I was there for you,” he said as he kissed me back. “Oh, I almost forgot, I had a little shopping done for you, and had my personal assistant set up your closet for you. It’s next to mine and is linked to the bathroom. This away you can get dressed and ready conveniently,” said Michael smiling, knowing that he had completely surprised me.  I got up from the couch and walked to “our” bedroom. Michael’s bedroom is huge with two large walk-in closets one on each side of the bathroom. “Yours is the one on the left,” said Michael with a smile that told me he was pleased, that I didn’t know what he had planned. Hesitantly I opened the door and my jaw dropped open, open so far it could have touched the ground. There were suits, jeans, blouses, t-shirts, sweaters, shoes, bras, panties, and lingerie. He even purchased me a purse from every designer I had ever heard of. The far corner had a makeup counter with all new cosmetics and products to style my hair, everything high-end and name brand.  I turned around to face Michael, “How, how did you do this, I wasn’t asleep that long,” I said as I grabbed some jeans and a t-shirt putting them on while waiting for Michael to respond. “When you were talking to the fire marshal I called Jarred and had him take care of everything, it was already done when we got here.” “You did what? Jarred, I can’t believe this, I did not want anyone to at work to know I am together with the boss. They will treat me differently now that they know. I did not want that, I wanted them to respect me for my skills not because they are scarred of fucking with the boss’s mistress.” My face was bright red and tears were running down my face. “Susan, we can trust Jarred, he has known about you this whole time and you are far more than a mistress,” said Michael. “What do you mean Jarred has always known about us?” I asked looking confused.  “Jarred has been my best friend for many years, there is almost nothing in my life he has not seen and been through it with me,” he said. “I will pay you back for all of this just let me know how much you spent and I will find a way to pay you back for it,” I said with as much conviction as I could muster up. “No”, he said looking a little upset. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings Michael, I am so appreciative you did all this, it’s just too much, I don’t like feeling I owe anyone for anything,” I said.  “Susan, I did it because I love you and I want you to move here with me, I know a lot has happened, but it feels like a sign to me. Maybe I’m a romantic but I see us settling down and having children.  I would like a girl first and then a boy. I have felt this way this since the moment I first met you. Nothing is going to change the way I feel about us or make me see things any different,” he said looking a little disappointed by the way I was reacting to his surprise. “Still, Michael, this is a lot of money, I would like to pay you back.” I said with conviction. “NO”, he said, I will never take a dollar from you, this is my gift for our future, and if you can’t just accept that I don’t know what to tell you.” “This isn’t over, but for now I will table this discussion and we will revisit it at a later time.” “Always the lawyer,” said Michael and gave me a brief kiss. The rest of the evening went on without a single issue. I was tired so I decided to ditch the jeans and t-shirt for a set of new pajamas and went back to his bed. Michael joined me a short time after and we spent the night in each others arms and slept peacefully, until the dreams started again. First it was the same dream as the night of the fire, but there was something different, I felt fear building in my stomach. Suddenly my daughter started crying and I ran to her. Michael was slumped on the floor and bleeding from his head. There was a strange man standing over him with a crowbar and was threatening to kill my daughter. Screaming I ran towards him, suddenly there was a strange tingling in my hands and a burst of power came pulsing out of my palms at my family’s attacker. He flew across to room hitting the window. The window shattered and he flew out the window to his death. I woke suddenly and immediately started crying. Michael instantly grabbed a hold of me and tried to calm me but there was nothing he could do to take that picture out of my brain, it felt as though it was burnt into the back of my eyelids. “Susan, what’s wrong? Honey what’s wrong?” exclaimed Michael. “You were bleeding and he was going to kill our baby daughter,” I said in hysterics. “Honey, it was just a dream, you were just having a bad dream.” “No it was real, I know it I can feel it. It’s going to happen I know it,” I said as I continued to cry. “I know what you are saying but even if it may happen it will be several years before we would have to worry about this,” said Michael trying to calm me down. “I know I am sounding irrational but it was real I know it. We had a small daughter and I was pregnant with our son, she was beautiful with black hair green eyes and my family’s clef chin. Suddenly she started to cry, I came running into the living room and you were slumped on the floor bleeding and there was a scary man standing over you threatening to kill our baby.” I was shaking and crying and completely incapable of being consoled. “Susan what can I do to make you feel safe or better?” asked Michael. “I’m sorry Michael give me a couple of minutes and I’m sure I will be ok,” I said trying to sound convincing. “Take as much time as you need, you know I will be right here, I’m not going anywhere,” he responded. After about fifteen minutes I tried to shake off the feelings from that horrible dream forcing myself to calm down. Michael could feel my muscles relax because he leaned in and kissed me. Lightly rubbing my back and arms he turned and walked towards our closets, he was getting something for me to wear. In minutes he came out with bra, panties, jeans and a sweater, and handed them to me. “Thank you Michael, do you want to go for a walk? I think I could use some air,” I asked hoping he would agree. “Sure babe, what ever you need. Do you want a cup of coffee and something to eat?” asked Michael. “I don’t think I can eat even if I wanted to,” I said shivering again at the thought of my dream.  We walked down stairs together hand in hand and out the door we went. As soon as the morning’s crisp air hit me I realized that it may be just a bad dream and we will be ok. I still can’t help but love that little girl even though I know she is not even real yet. Michael is what is real and I need to enjoy him while I have him and not focus on what hasn’t even happened or may never happen. We reached the park in about ten minutes and Jarred was there with a blanket, picnic basket and two lattes. Smiling, I thanked Jarred for the coffee and my closet surprise. “I can’t believe you got everything in that closet for me Jarred and everything is the perfect size, how did you know what sizes to get me?” I asked Jarred. “Michael told me what size and what to get you right down to the slippers, I told you are very special to him, I have never seen him like this before, not ever,” replied Jarred.  I started to blush, but before I could say anything else Jarred politely excused himself and said he would see us another time. Shaking my head I sat down on the blanket and started to un-pack the picnic basket and instructed Michael to sit next to me. I pulled Michael close to me and whispered into his ear, “You are full of surprises, I could totally get used to this!” I said then kissed him.

Finally feeling like the dream was more of a distant memory instead of an image of my future with Michael and our daughter. I relaxed and let myself feel the joy of being with Michael. He is always pleasant to be around. He smiled at me and said, “I shared my most intimate and tragic story with you last night, plus the humiliating way I stalked you for two years, I want something from your life you haven’t told me.”  “Well let me think, I was raised by my dad with a step mom.” I said knowing it was not what he meant. “Susan, you know I already know this, how about something I don’t already know about you” he asked with a lot more seriousness. “When I was a child, my dad took me away from my mother. It was a long drawn out court drama, in the end he won. I never saw my mom again. My dad re-married and Caroline his new wife raised me as her own. He never had anymore children so I was very protected and cherished by them both. When I was sixteen I found out that Caroline was not my biological mother. Somehow I completely forgot I had another mother. From that point on I was by myself. I went to a private college, where as you know that’s where we met, and the rest includes you,” I said looking a little sad. Michael thought for a minute and said “Boy that was extremely edited.”  “What else were you expecting?” I asked “I don’t know more information that would tell me about you and in more detail,” he said. “Michael, I can’t handle re-hashing everything right now, with everything that has happened to me in the last two days I just want to relax and enjoy your company and not feel the sorrow of my shitty life” I said trying not to cry. “Fine, he said but you will eventually have to fill me in on what has made you who you are.” He leaned in a kissed me and we fell on to our backs and looked at the sky for a long time. Jarred had packed for us a beautiful spread that included; fruit, cheeses, crackers, breads and wine. I can’t believe how thoughtful that guy is he misses nothing, Michael is very lucky to have him. We continued to lay there a while longer then got up, cleaned up our picnic and started to walk back to Michael’s house. His house is located on a corner lot and is a late 1800’s Victorian. Michael has completely restored it to its original glory and it is breath taking. The house has a porch that wraps around the entire house and a completely manicured yard with a hot tub and in-ground swimming pool. This house is like a huge version of a doll house that every girl dreamed about having as a child. When you enter the double front doors the entryway is completely covered with marble and the walls are tastefully decorated with art from artists like Picasso. Every room has a fireplace with magnificent fireplace mantles and upstairs has six bedrooms and five bathrooms. Michael’s bedroom is the master of course and has an amazing private balcony, and by private I mean you can walk around naked on it and no one would ever be able to see you unless they were in the sky spying down on you. I love that, sitting outside naked enjoying the sun. While my house was being renovated I spent countless hours on this balcony naked enjoying reading novels and loving the quiet.  I wish I could feel that way all of the time, calm and full of pure happiness. But every time I start to relax and feel complete, something crazy happens to me.  I want a normal life, I want to share my life with someone and not feel ashamed of my past. I just want to look forward to a future. Thinking about the way I feel about Michael is all I can think about as the day progresses. Together we watched tv and just enjoyed each others company no time limits no responsibility and no intrusions. Just us and our contentment, it was fantastic. It was about when the door bell rang. Surprised we got up and answered. It was the chief of the fire department; he had the fire report for me. He said if I had any questions he could be reached at the fire department tomorrow, he just wanted to get it to me as soon as possible. Surprised, I looked at Michael and said, “I thought this wouldn’t be back until next week.” He looked back at me and simply said, “I called in a couple of favors.”  “You didn’t have to do that I could have waited like everyone else has to for their reports.” “I know but I didn’t want you to keep worrying and I wanted you to have your answers.” Smiling at him I opened the envelope. It said in bold lettering, Arson is suspected. I dropped the letter on the floor and ran to Michaels open arms. He hugged me for a long time and then picked up the letter from the floor and read it. It said that there was accelerant all over the main level of the house and that gas cans were found in the back yard. There best assessment is that someone broke into the house through the back door and started the fire in the living room. Suddenly the expression on Michaels face changed to terrified, I could tell the weight of knowing we almost died just hit him because he pulled me away from his chest and looked me in the eyes and asked me, “Who would want to hurt you and me?” “I have no idea, I don’t have any enemies that I know of except my bitch of a neighbor, but I don’t think she is capable of doing this, being pissed about my parking habits and burning down my house are two completely different things. What about you Michael? Is there anyone that would want to hurt you and would follow you around enough to know where I lived,” I replied. “Not that I know of but this has told me one thing, you wont be staying anywhere without me or a private security service,” he replied. “No! I am not going to have security that is ridiculous. Nor am I going to be a burden to you. I have already imposed enough and I can’t do it anymore,” I said. Michael took the letter and walked upstairs to his home office. I followed but when I reached his office he closed the door keeping me out. Putting my ear to the door I tried to eavesdrop but I couldn’t hear what was happening in there, but I think he is on the phone. I waited outside the door for a while but gave up and went to our bedroom and climbed in bed.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Michael finally shares his most tragic moment.

Chapter Four

Feeling the bright light from a new day blasting me in the face, I slowly opened my eyes long enough to see the empty space in the bed next to me. I rolled over to get a little further away from the light so I could sleep longer. But I couldn’t stop thinking about how disappointed I was to once again wake up alone. When I went to sleep he was there and now he is gone. He always does this, we make mad passionate love all night and he is never there when I wake up in the morning. I will have to ask him about it later, more importantly is the shower I desperately need to wash away last night’s fun. I quickly got up forgetting the serious pain from my car accident, hobbled to the bathroom and started the shower. It must have been an hour because the water started to run cold, so I quickly rinsed and got out of the shower. When I got dressed I suddenly realized that I no longer felt alone and cautiously went downstairs and entered my living room. The TV was on and Michael had made me breakfast. There are flowers everywhere he must have purchased all the red roses in the city because the entire house smelled amazing. Michael was not paying attention that I was standing there he appeared to be lost in thought. Slowly I walked over to the couch and kissed his neck. He suddenly grabbed me pulling me over the back of the couch and onto his lap kissing me gently. “Where were you?” I asked with a pout on my lips. “I woke up and you were gone, I hate it when you do that to me.” Once gain putting as much pout in my lips a possible “We’ll if you haven’t noticed I redecorated and made you breakfast,” he said. “I see that, completely un-necessary, but thank you, I love it,” I said kissing him lightly.  “You were sleeping so peacefully I did not want to wake you, so I got up and went shopping. When I got back you were in the shower. Sorry your food is cold I planned for it to be done when you got out of the shower but didn’t expect you to be in there for so long,” he said. “Sorry, I thought you went home or to work, I didn’t expect you to be here,” I said. “I told you that I was taking time off to make sure you were ok after your car accident, I said I was never leaving you alone again,” he said sounding slightly annoyed. “Well then, what do you want to do today, besides watch TV or talk about my car accident?” I said as I climbed in a bar stool. Silence followed with the exception of the sound of me in-hailing my breakfast. I was surprised, it is amazing I had know idea what a great cook Michael is, I wonder if it is takeout I thought to myself as I looked around for takeout containers. “No, its not takeout, I made it from scratch,” said Michael from the other room. “How do you always do that? I swear you are a mind reader,” I yelled back from the kitchen. “Not likely, I’m just observant,” he said sounding amused.  Laughing I walked over to the couch and kissed him thank you. “Michael, I want to ask you a couple of questions but I don’t want you to get mad at me or cause a fight, I love having you here all to myself and I don’t want you to leave,” I said unsure of what his reaction will be. “Ask away,” he said. “Why do you always leave me when you spend the night? Every time you spend the night at my place I wake up and you are gone, it makes me feel like you don’t want to, no never mind, this is silly,” I said feeling a little immature. “I already told you where I was this morning and why I didn’t wake you, why are you being so paranoid?” asked Michael. “It’s just can’t shake the feeling that you are going to leave me. Everyone I love eventually leaves me and I can’t help but feel this way,” I said.  “Susan, I will be here as long as you want me here,” he said. “If you haven’t noticed I have trust issues,” I said. “I have always noticed that,” he said sounding playful yet considerate. “Let me ask you something, why don’t you trust anyone? I have never done anything for you not to trust me yet you never completely show me all of you. You always hold back your true feelings,” he said with complete frustration written all over his face. “It’s not like you are that open either,” I said feeling under attack. “I answer everything you ask of me truthfully and leave nothing out,” said Michael. “That’s not completely true, I asked you what you were drinking last night and you deflected my question, in fact, every time I ask you about your past you always deflect my questions. And you wonder why I have trust issues, I will be as honest and open with you as you are to me, it is only fair,” I said. “Your trust issues have nothing to do with me,” said Michael. “See what I mean I am trying to get to know you in another way besides in the bedroom and you deflect my every attempt. You, Michael are the one with the trust issues. I am not saying that you are not completely correct in your assessment of me and when I feel more comfortable about sharing the things in my closet with you I will, but I have to feel that you have every intention of being completely honest with me. Michael I hope you know that you could tell me anything and I would never judge you for it, when I give my heart to someone I give my whole heart, and you have my whole heart. Michael I love you with all of my heart and that is something I have never said to any other man I have been with in my life,” I said with tears flowing down my cheeks.  Michael got up from the couch kissed me on the top of my head, grabbed his car keys and left. I can’t believe he just walked out on me. Here I am pouring my heart out to him and he leaves, I can’t believe he left. This is why I don’t trust men, when the going gets tough they get gone. Then I rolled into a ball and cried.  For a very long time I replayed everything I said and everything he said trying to figure out where I went wrong. I just don’t understand.  Why doesn’t Michael open up to me? He has never shared one story about his personal life with me the entire time we have been together. He will talk about work, school or even his friends but when it comes to anything personal about him he is a closed book. It is never going to work between us if he can’t trust me enough to open up some. I don’t expect this to happen overnight but at some point he has to share something with me and stop all these half truths. I want to be with him in everyway, he knows that, at least I think he does, yet he pushes me away and when I call him on it he bolts. Why does everything in life have to be so tough? As a child everything should be all fun and no responsibility, yet I never got that luxury, is it too much to have some happiness in my life? Is it too much to have a relationship that doesn’t end before it begins? Is it too much to have someone in my life that doesn’t just up and leave me? Why can’t I have a normal life, nothing is ever normal in my life. I finally cried myself to sleep and once again the dreams came. This dream begins when I was ten or so at a child’s birthday party. The party was at the local park not far from our home, we used to go here almost every day and walk as a family. I forgot how much I miss those simple times.  My dad and step mom were there along with about twenty other children and their parents. There were balloons everywhere and even a clown which scared the crap out of me. I always felt out of place at functions like these so I wondered off alone into the parks forest area and got lost. I was so scared. Why had I not stayed with the other children? After wandering around for several minutes I sat on the ground and cried. I was lost and no one was ever going to find me.  Then like god was answering my prayers this his lady found me and asked if I needed help to find my parents. I was crying and shook my head yes. She lead me out of the forest and back to the park. Soon she was leading me back to my parents where the rest of the other party guests were. No one even noticed I was gone. Before my dad could say another word to the parent he was talking to he noticed me walking back from the forest and instantly looked freaked out. The lady told him she found me lost in the forest. He hugged me and I could feel the tension in his body as he told me to go play with the other children. I turned to leave and watched my dad walk off with the lady that saved me and soon they were yelling at each other and she stormed away. In my short life I don’t think I have ever seen my dad so freaked out and angry. After regaining his composure my dad said we needed to leave and told me gather my things and say goodbye. Why would he be so angry at that lady who helped me when I was so scared and lost? Why do I keep having these visions? Why do I keep reliving moments in my life I never knew even existed? I have so many questions I need answers to but how would I get answers when my dad is dead? How will I move forward knowing my childhood was nothing but lies?

When I woke up it must have after . Michael was sitting on the couch next to me stroking my hair. I smiled and reached for him, but he pulled away and stiffened. I sat up and shook my head. “You’re dumping me, I finally open my heart to you and now you’re dumping me. I can’t believe this,” I said with tears once again running down my face. I pushed him and hit him in his chest as he put his arms around me and held me tight but still saying nothing. I could see the pain in his face but still he said nothing. “Why are you doing this? I don’t understand why you are doing this, what did I do wrong?” I asked crying. I relaxed into his chest thinking this could be the last time I would feel him comfort me.  “I never said I was breaking up with you, why do you always assume the worst regarding me, this is why I feel I can’t tell you everything about me. Can’t you see, I love you so much, I don’t want to hurt you and if I tell you everything you will not love me anymore? I know this,” he exclaimed. Michael’s face showed the fear he was feeling and it broke my heart. Why is he so tortured? “Michael how can you have so much love for me yet you have no faith in me? You always say I have no faith in you but it’s you who are breaking my heart,” I said crying as though my world is coming to an end. I took a deep breath taking in his beautiful fragrance. “Michael, please just tell me you’re not going to walk away from us? Please tell me you will stay and work through this? Please don’t give up on me I can’t bare it” I said still crying. “Susan, I am never going to walk away from what we have, you are all I have.” Michael paused for a moment and got up from the couch to get a little distance from me. “When I was twenty, I was married to my high school sweat heart. We were impulsive and pregnant. I had just finished college, and was starting law school. I was happy, in love and waiting to become a father. I thought I could never be any happier than I was at that moment. Soon Kathy had our son we named him Evan, and he was perfect and healthy. Everything was going well I was doing great in school and working as a clerk to provide for my new family, but Kathy was not happy. She was tired of being with me and started to withdrawal from our relationship. I started to make sure we had more time together in the hopes that we could rekindle what brought us together in the first place. For awhile she started to smile again and was actually talking more about our future. Feeling good that we were working together to have a future I had to continue my grueling schedule. One night while I was working, I received a call from Kathy saying that there was nothing she could do to convince herself that we would work out. I kept telling her that I loved her and would do anything to make her happy. She said the only thing that would make her happy was to have never had met me, she even said she wished she would have never had Evan, she said she loved him but it was not enough to take her out of this darkness. I did not know what to say to that, the only thing I loved more than Kathy was Evan. He was perfect and a pure joy. How could she say such a thing about him? He was amazing, he touched the souls of everyone who met him and destroyed the souls of everyone who lost him. Evan was two years old when he died and not a moment goes by in a day that I don’t think about him. I loved him more than my own life. I would have given my life at that moment to save his. I sat on the phone for a moment quiet trying to process everything she just said to me when I realized what she was doing. She was going to kill our child and end her own life. What kind of monster could kill their own child let alone kill any child? How could she hate me so much to hurt me this way? I asked her to please not hurt Evan, she said I am sorry but you are too late he went to sleep tonight and will never wake up, he is an abomination. I was shocked who was this woman and what was I going to do. I walked out of my office and grabbed a piece of paper writing on it call 911 and send them to my house, my wife said she was killing my child hurry please then I handed it to the receptionist. I tried to keep Kathy on the phone with me as long as possible, just hoping the police and ambulance would get there in time to save them but I started to hear her slur her words. I knew she took something, but what worried me most were the noises in the back ground it sounded like a campfire. I was crying at this point. I told her to hold on and I would come home to her and make everything ok, I would get her some help. She told me I was too late and there was no helping her and then she hung up. I did not know what I was going to come home to but I knew I needed to get the hell out of there if I was going to save Evan. The drive home was torment. I kept playing through my head every time she was sad, any comments she made, could I have prevented this outcome? I was dieing inside trying to get to them. They were everything to me. The reason I work so hard is so that they will have the life I never did. That drive was the longest drive I have ever taken in my life. But when I pulled into my neighborhood everything suddenly went in slow motion. There were fire trucks and ambulances everywhere and the police were stationed at the entrance of my housing development. They stopped my car the second I got close. I screamed at them to let me through. I pulled my car over as they instructed me but the second they turned there heads I ran. I have never run so fast in my life. They chased me but could not even come close. Suddenly I was standing in front of my home and it was destroyed. The firefighters were walking through the rubble putting out hot spots so they would not reignite and harm anyone else. I dropped to my knees and cried right there in the middle of all the police and firefighters. I knew right then and there that my family was dead. My beautiful wife, my best friend, my lover killed our son and then committed suicide. I have never felt pain like that before in my life. I looked over and there were two body bags one was tall the other was short. I couldn’t even go to them. I could not remember them looking that way. They were burnt beyond recognition. Kathy had to be identified through dental records and Evan had to identified, using my DNA. I thought I was going to die right there from the grief I felt. It took over a week to have the bodies released so I could bury them. I had a private funeral for both of them together. I was so devastated still devastated. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t replay every memory of my son. He was the light of every day. The loss of him has forever changed me. My grief turned to hate for Kathy. I planned to have her casket moved someplace far away from Evan, but I knew she loved him and that she must have been very sick in order to overdose him on cough syrup and then take her own life. This was a very dark time for me. I buried myself in school and quit my job. I moved to an apartment because my home and all my memories were gone in the flames of that night. I have nothing of him no pictures nothing, she took everything from me. For a long time I felt that I would never forgive her but that was making me sick. I was drinking my self into oblivion every day. I almost took my own life several times the grief was so overwhelming. How could I have allowed my son to be killed I was a failure. I failed to protect him I failed to make her happy. I failed as a husband. I failed in everything that mattered. Susan, I have never told anyone about this ever. I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me and look at me the way you are looking at me now.  Then everything changed the day you ran into me at the bookstore coffee shop when you were finishing your law degree. I was there meeting some possible candidates for an internship at my law firm. You probably don’t even remember that day. You had your hands full of books and were in a hurry and weren’t paying attention to where you were walking then smashed right into me. The books you were holding went flying and I helped you pick them up. Feeling a strong connection to you, I followed you back to your dorm without you even noticing. Asking the others in the dorm if they new your name, but no one would give me any information about you so I came back every time I was in the area until someone finally gave me your name. From that point on I knew I had to know you and finally after two years we officially met. Finally I felt like maybe I had a chance again of being happy. I new at that moment we would be in each others life one way or another. It all depended on you, whether you would say yes to my date invitation or turn me away. But for some reason you took pity on me and agreed to our first date. As you know we have now been together for two years now. So for four years I have loved you and have finally stopped grieving my wife and child. Finally I feel like I am going to have a second chance at a life, a life with you. So when you tell me you can’t take losing me I ask you to understand, I can’t loose you, you are all I have that makes me feel like I want to live and feel like I will have a future. I will never walk away from you. I will never live in a world that does not have you by my side, in my bed and apart of my future,” said Michael.  All I could do is take him in my arms and hold him, hold him like there was never going to be another chance like this. I love this man, he has captured my soul and I know I will love him until my last breath. “Michael, thank you for trusting me with this, I don’t feel pity for you. I only wish I could have been there for you when you needed me the most. Thank you for trusting me with a part of your past that was so horrible that it has forever changed you. I will never let you down and I will never give up on our love. I only hope that you can continue to feel that way for me and that we will also have a future,” I said still crying.  Michael hugged me and kissed me so tenderly I felt as though our souls were connected. I led him to my room so we could get some sleep. We walked into my bedroom and I started to undress him. The man I love is so emotionally spent I know he needs me to take care of him. So I pulled the covers back on the bed. Once he was naked and in bed I tucked him in like a child then I climbed in bed next to him. Michael turned to face me with tears streaming down his cheeks. I wish there was something I could do to take away his pain. Our bodies instinctively scooted over until we were intertwined and kissing. Once again it was a tender and loving kiss but quickly became very passionate as he pressed his naked body against mine. As he began to litter my entire body with kisses he whispered how much he loved me over and over again in my ear. Michael was moving his hands all over my body tantalizing my every nerve ending. Knowing my body so well he rolled on top of me and our bodies were connected as one. Our eyes locked as we made love. Our bodies as one, our souls as one, everything as it should be. Sharing our bodies with each other is always amazing but this was unlike any other incident of love making, this was powerful. Our bodies were on fire and felt as though we were glowing. The pleasure of our love making climaxed then we collapsed in each others arms. We lay together with our bodies still connected and held each other for a long time feeling the love and happiness we shared then finally falling into a blissful sleep.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

When Susan wakes up after spending the night in the hospital Michael is not there.

Chapter Three

When I awoke several hours later there were flowers all over my room but no Michael. I laid there for a long time trying to decide if I should stay put and do what Michael wants or should I go to work and meet with my new client. I really feel strongly about helping her and I don’t know why. Since I hung up the phone with her I have been waiting anxiously to meet with her and get started on helping her. It is really strange to only talk to someone on the phone and feel such a strong connection for that someone. So against my better judgment I got out of bed and got dressed. Soon I was in a cab on my way to the office. I didn’t want to miss my appointment. When I reached the office it was business as usual. That one thing I can always count on is work, it distracts and keeps normalcy. I snuck past Jarred knowing he would tattle as soon as he saw me. Walking slowly because of the pain I noticed Michael was not in his office. How strange, he wasn’t at the hospital and now he isn’t here, maybe he went home to shower. He is going to be pissed if he knows I checked out of the hospital again. I opened my office door and to my surprise there he was sitting at my desk meeting with my future client Jennifer. I walked in cautiously and walked straight to Jennifer introducing myself.  “Hi, I’m Susan Travis, you must be Jennifer. Thank you for coming, sorry I am late. I was in a car accident last night.” “Michael was just filling me in. Thank you for your help and agreeing to take my case. Michael says he will also be my lawyer. Wow, I can’t believe this finally some good luck,” said Jennifer. “Susan is new here and with the accident I thought she could use my help, but if you would be more comfortable with just Susan, I will be ok either way,” said Michael. “No, no I would love to have you both the more the merrier. Besides I want to do what ever will get me my child back,” said Jennifer. “Great, we will be in touch as soon and we complete the research and file the motion in court,” he said as he stood and shook her hand. “Thank you, Thank you. You don’t know how much this means to me. I have been trying for over two years to get my child back and now I finally feel I might actually have a chance now,” said Jennifer with tears running down her cheeks and hugging us both. Without saying anything to Michael, I showed Jennifer to the lobby and said goodbye to her, I left the office without another word. I decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator because I knew Michael would check the elevator first. It would take me a long time to walk down all those stairs because of how sore I am but I wanted to avoid Michael at all costs. As soon as I made it down the first flight of stairs tears started to fall down my cheeks. I can’t believe this, he high-jacked my first case. I am so upset. I finally made it to the main floor and exited the building, the fresh air felt great when the gusts of wind hit me. I walked down the street not knowing where to go or what to do, I feel so betrayed, I feel like he has no faith in me, was I just hired to be a convenient piece if ass. I am so confused. I continued walking down the street and before long I was at the park walking through the trails. When I felt far enough away from the real world I stopped at the first bench that came my way and sat there. Sitting there I cried, re-playing everything over and over in my head, my sad childhood, the death of my parents, and this betrayal from Michael. I love him so much, how could he do this to me. I really don’t understand anything anymore. My life is just a series of sadness and disappointments. It must have been a couple of hours because it seemed to be getting dark. Realizing I shouldn’t be in the park alone after dark I hurried out of there and started to walk home. Still feeling completely lost I stumbled along until I reached my neighborhood. When I reached my house, waiting for me was Michael. He was sitting on the porch and he was not happy. Walking past him I put my key in the door opening it and walking in. I didn’t say anything to him but gestured for him to come in. Immediately walking into my bedroom to change out of my two day old clothes and went to run a bath.  Waiting for the water to rise I climbed in and closed my eyes, trying to wash away the stress of the last two days when Michael finally came in to sit with me. Knowing my eyes were red and swollen I kept my face turned away from hoping he would not notice. Finally I build up enough courage to ask him, “What are you doing here?” “What do you mean what I am I doing here? I have been looking for you all day. Where were you?” he asked sounding slightly frantic. “I went for a walk in the park, I needed to think.” I said. “What is the matter with you, why would you just leave like that and say nothing to me before you walked out of there, what were you even doing there? I told you not to worry about work that I would handle it for you” he yelled. “I see that, you had everything under control. You even took over my first case” I said with fresh tears falling down my face. I turned my face again as to hide what I was feeling, knowing very well Michael could see right through what I was trying to do. “What the hell are you talking about? I was trying to help. I knew you wanted to help that lady and I didn’t want you to feel like you let her down. You are very sensitive about these things,” he replied.  “The key word is that I wanted to help that lady, by myself, not with a chaperone,” I explained. “God you are infuriating, I can’t do anything right with you” he said sounding completely defeated. Michael started to leave. “Wait! Why don’t you join me in the bath, we can fight tomorrow, when you make me breakfast in bed, after all you did give me the week off, unless that is no longer what you want,” I said knowing it would hit a nerve with him.  Within a blink of an eye he was naked and in the tub without even having to thinking about it. “Do you want to wash my back?” I asked with a smile. We shifted spots and Michael began washing my back and breasts. “I only asked you to wash my back not my breasts,” I said jokingly. Finally he laughed and started to kiss my neck. He finally started to relax some which made things a lot easier between us. He massaged my back and continued to rub every inch of my body. He is always so considerate with me. I wish could just trust him, but my past has taught me that trust is a weakness I cannot afford. Michael turned me over so we were facing each other and started kissing me, not just my lips every inch of my face, neck and chest were littered with his mouth. I could feel his arousal and I wanted more, but he was holding back. I started to massage his body as he had with mine spending a considerable amount of time between his legs. I could tell he was ready for more but was waiting for us to get out of the tub. I got up and reached for my towel and started to dry my body, he was standing in seconds taking over this job. He is the most generous lover I have ever had, he always wants to make sure I am taken care of and completely satisfied. We were completely water logged when we got out of the tub and went to my bed to finish what we’d started. Before I could make another move, Michael was kissing his way past my belly button and was teasing the inside of my thighs. He kissed and nibbled and went in for a taste. He was pleasuring me and taking little teasing nibbles, when all of a sudden he got up and walked over to the window and was looking outside. Feeling a little shunned I rolled over and was pretending that I was going to sleep, when he came at me from behind, without any warning he was inside me and taking me to new heights of pleasure, god he is an amazing lover. He knows exactly how to please me like he has known my body for a life time but just as I was getting close to coming he pilled out and went to the window again. This time I was not going to let him get away with it. I got up and walked over to him, in front of my window and started kissing his body, I worked my way down to his impressive body and started to go down on him. Looking into his eyes waiting for his pleasure to increase and of course it did, I suddenly pulled away and walked back to my bed only I didn’t have to wait because he was right there to continue our love making. I lay there on my back and slightly spread my legs inviting him into my body. He gently guided himself into me and with every thrust I could feel his warmth and intense passion. He turned me over and once again he was in me thrusting carefully and precisely. Not long after we were both moaning and screaming in pleasure as we climaxed in unison and collapsed onto my bed. “Wow” we both said in unison. “If this is how it’s going to be every time we have make-up sex I will argue with you forever.” I said in a whisper in his ear as I nibbled. “You better stop or I will need a round two,” he said kissing me back. “Sex with you is too good to be a threat,” I said as I nibbled on his neck. He pulled away suddenly and walked over to the window again. “What do you keep looking at?” I asked him. “Nothing really,” he said still looking out the window. I got up to join him naked at my window seat feeling a little greedy for his body and knowing he is not being quite honest with me. I wonder what he really is thinking did he hear something out there. He rapped his arms around me and just held me and kissed me on my lips. As always we continued to make love until we were too exhausted to keep our eyes open any longer so we fell into a deep sleep. For once no dreams came.

Friday, November 5, 2010

After the accident the truth begins to surface, Tragedy is never far.

As I woke up everything started to come into focus I turned my head and there was Michael sitting there in the chair resting his head on my bed sleeping. He was even holding my hand. Not knowing how long I have been asleep or what time it was. I took my free hand and ran my fingers through his hair. Michael started to stir and with a smile on his face, he looked at me and said, “Hi, sleepy head, your awake, I was so worried about you, your car was totaled, and you were unconscious! How are you feeling? Can I get you anything? Do you want me to get the nurse?” “No, I think I just want to go home, and rest,” I said. “You can’t!  The doctor said you have a head injury and need to be observed over night, I will not allow anything further happen to you, you mean too much to me,” exclaimed Michael. “Can you be the one to observe me? I would much rather have you as my nurse,” I said giving him the most charming smile possible.  “I am sorry but I have no training to help you if something bad were to happen,” said Michael. “Please, I am begging you I hate hospitals, they remind me of death and sick people dieing of horrible diseases like cancer. Plus everything bad always happens at hospitals you go to the hospital to have minor surgery and wake up missing a leg. I hate the smell of hospitals, it reminds me of past memories of hospitals and I can’t handle being here! If you don’t want to watch over me I will just check myself out against medical advice and go home having no one check over me that way if I have some sort of reaction there will be no one there to help me,” I said doing my best to make him feel guilty. “You can’t do that, I will not allow it,” said Michael. “You have no say in what I choose to do, we aren’t married nor do you own me,” I said throwing a jab at Michael. “Are you kidding me? Why are you being so difficult? I need to know you are safe and out of danger. Why can’t you understand that staying overnight at the hospital is the safest place for you under these circumstances,” he said.  “Michael, I feel fine, I am a little sore but nothing is wrong with me! Please Michael you don’t understand how bad this is for me, please get me out of here, I don’t want to have to go home alone. I would much rather be with you and have you take care of me, you know there is nothing really wrong with me,” I said begging him. While I was waiting for Michael to respond I thought about another childhood memory this time it wasn’t like before at the office, this was one I dreamt about quite often. When I was little my step mother had cancer. We spent months in the hospital while she received cancer treatments. I hated this place, the smells and sick people everywhere affected me. I could feel the pain everyone felt. It was extremely overwhelming and scary as a child. I realize I am no longer a child but those feelings never go away they haunt you like a bad dream you wake from and can’t quite shake. Before I could continue to protest Michael caved in saying, “Fine, I will take you to my place, but if you even act funny at all I am taking you back to the hospital, are we clear?” Smiling, I shook my head in agreement because I knew I had won this discussion.

Michael checked me out of the hospital as I requested and took me to his place. On the way there we stopped at the pharmacy and picked up some pills and ice cream. He is being so quiet and uptight I could not stand it. I feel like a burden, maybe I should call a cab when he falls asleep. As soon as we got to his house I went straight to Michael’s bed where he waited on me hand and foot. I love that he is so tender and caring, but hate feeling this way. I have always been very independent even as a child I never needed much. Soon Michael joined me in bed and just held on to me as if I was going to disappear. I looked at Michael and said “What gives? I am fine and you are acting like I am going to vanish.” “Susan, I just don’t want anything bad to happen to you, EVER.” “I appreciate your caring for me, but I am not breakable,” I said trying to sound like I meant it. “Define breakable? Because from where I sit you look incredibly breakable, you are bruised head to toe and your face is burned from the air bag. Also you are excused from work for the next week,” he said with conviction. “I can’t, I just started and I have an appointment with a pro-bono case tomorrow at , I can’t miss it this lady really needs my help!” “Susan, you are in no condition to see clients, and tomorrow when you wake up you will feel even worse, I will have Jarred reschedule your day and mine. This way I can be with you until you are well.” “I will be fine tomorrow and don’t you think it will look funny if you and I both miss the same days, I don’t want everyone to think I got this job because I am sleeping with you,” I responded sounding incredibly mean. “I don’t care what people think of us, I want everyone to know about us, for some reason you don’t and it’s very frustrating,” he said while resting his face in his hands. “I want people to know I am a talented lawyer not think of me as a whore who fucks the boss to get a job,” as I said it I immediately wanted to take it back. “Susan, I can’t believe you just said that.” Michael promptly got up and walked out of the bedroom slamming the door. I got up from the bed, got dressed and started to leave, but made it as far as the door before I collapsed.

Once again, I woke up in the hospital. Michael was there, except instead of sleeping he was pacing my room and very mad. Looking at him I asked him to lay with me. He wouldn’t even look me in the eyes. “What’s wrong? Why are you so mad at me?” I asked, knowing well what he was mad about. “You were going to sneak out of my house,” he said. “Yes” I responded “Why would you be so careless?” exclaimed Michael with the most tortured look on his face that it broke my heart. “I am sorry, you were so mad I didn’t want to be more of a burden for you.” “Stop this you act like no one should care about you. Why do you constantly question my feelings for you? I LOVE YOU DAMMIT!” “Michael, please calm down and lay with me, I am sorry, and I do love you too,” I said trying to reassure him. Suddenly he came over to me and climbed in my hospital bed. The he kissed me tenderly taking care of my sore body and face. This was the first time either of us ever said our feelings out loud, I kind of new this was the truth but never thought things would be this way with us. My accident sure shook him up. I hope it didn’t make him feel like he had to say that, just because he was scared. God I wish I could just stop thinking sometimes and just feel what I want to feel. But my stupid mind will never shut up. I pulled away from Michael and told him once again that I loved him and I wanted him to go home and get some rest. He refused of course, knowing I would leave as soon as he did. Soon my body relaxed and I gave in to the power of him. Having all these crazy feelings that I can’t seem to control is so very confusing and scary. I can’t seem to control anything when it comes to Michael. In all my life I have never actually told any man I have been with that I loved them and I am certain that I have never felt like this with anyone else. I love this man he is all I think about, he is my obsession. Shortly after exhaustion from the days events took over and I fell asleep. I dreamt about that same vision I had of my childhood. It played the whole scene over again. Only this time it was from my dad’s point of view. He was scared for me, like my mom was dangerous. Before he died he never would talk about the past, but I always felt as though there was something he was hiding from me. Looking into my past is sure to lead to heart ache if I start digging up a dead mans secrets. I think for now I will just focus on my career and Michael with any luck the rest will fall into place. 

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Here are the next pages. More Chaos and Confusion.

As soon as we were finished making love, we got dressed, Michael kissed me again and I wanted to repeat the whole episode, but instead I opened my private door and went to my office. Feeling slightly ashamed for just having sex with my boss in his office I can’t help but think about how wonderful his body felt on me and in me. God I am terrible. I started my new job and screwed my boss in the first hour. What is wrong with me? I can’t get enough of him. Well I guess I should pull my head out of the gutter and get some work done after all I am trying to prove myself. After hours of going through pro-bono files one finally caught my eye. The file states that the client’s child was taken away by the father and she needs help getting her daughter back. For the last two years she has been trying to get her daughter back but has no money for a good lawyer. Picking up the phone I decide to call her and hopefully set up meeting. Dialing her number I feel some excitement when a woman answers on the first ring saying, “Hello.”  “Hi is Jennifer there?” I asked. “This is she” the woman says. “My name is Susan Travis with the Law offices of Smith and Sellers, and I would like to talk to you about your case.” Jennifer immediately started crying. She told me a little of her story and asked for my help. I told her I would like to meet her in person tomorrow at , she said she would not miss it for the world and thanked me for taking an interest in her case. After hanging up the phone I decided to order the court documents. I should have them in the morning and be able to review them before she arrives. Finally I am going to be able to help someone, what a wonderful feeling. For my entire internship I worked on cases that were all greed and sex so I am very excited that I will be able to finally help someone that may actually deserve it. I can’t wait until tomorrow. Daydreaming I stare out my office windows and found myself drift off into a childhood memory that I had long forgotten. It appears that I maybe four or five, but I can’t be certain. I am in a judge’s chamber. There’s know one but me and this stranger I new to be the judge. He kept asking me questions, questions that made me very sad. I started crying. The judge kept telling me not to worry that everything was going to be ok and that he would make sure to get to the bottom of this. Back then I wasn’t old enough to really grasp what he was implying nor did I truly understand what was going on, but now as an adult I completely understood. This was the interview that took me away from my mother. A sudden sadness came over me I couldn’t quite understand. Why now was I remembering this childhood trauma, I never even knew happened but yet I know this memory is true? Suddenly, this memory or vision was over and I was looking at my clock and the day was basically over. I had been out of it for at least three hours, how scary. What is wrong with me? I never daydream, if that is what just happened. The day was over but I feel as though I didn’t accomplish enough. Just as I was getting ready to leave Michael entered my office and asked me, “Why so glum?” “I was just thinking about this case I might take. It’s a pro-bono child custody case. This lady is trying to get her child back from her ex-husband.” “Susan, you should take things easy your first week, and get used to your new office, don’t take on too much, I don’t want you getting burnt out with these type of cases they almost never end well. But that’s not why I came in here, I wanted to see if you wanted to go to dinner with me,” he asked with his usual intensity. I new if I said no I would get the riot act. So, I said “Yes, of course, but let me clean up this mess I made of my desk and I will be ready to go.”  Michael left my office and said he would meet me at our cars. Suddenly I had another vision like I did earlier only physically more intense. There is a woman, I think she is my biological mother she is crying in the court room, it must be the day I was taken away from her. She ran over to me as I was leaving the court room and she screamed, “Susie I love you with all my heart, I will never stop fighting for you, please don’t ever forget me.” Startled by this latest vision I got up from my desk and walked out of my office shutting off the lights. Feeling a little numb from the emotionally draining visions I’ve had today I walked into the elevator and forgot to push the floor button. Suddenly a voice startled me saying, “Are you going up or down?” I looked up and it was Jarred, “Oh, I’m sorry, I spaced off.” “Don’t worry about it, but what floor do you need?” “Parking structure floor 3,” I said still completely distracted and lost in thought. Waiting for the elevator to come to my level, I turned to Jarred and said good bye when to elevator door opened, then slowly I walked to my car. Michael was waiting for me outside my car, looking a little concerned. “What took you so long? I was going to come back up to your office and drag you out of there, I have been standing her for over thirty minutes!” he said showing some irritation, but shaking it off as fast as he showed it. “Sorry, I got a little distracted, but I’m all yours now!”  We drove separately to the restaurant so we could leave separately if need be. Michael picked the booth in the back for privacy. This area of the restaurant is for high profile patrons, its set up to be completely private, we could do almost anything we wanted and no one would notice nor care. It was a beautiful setting with candle light and red roses. Michael loves to buy me flowers red roses in particular. Dinner was brought to me the second I sat at the table. He always knows exactly what I like to eat but never orders anything for himself. I always feel weird eating all this food and him eating nothing. Tonight he had a dark red wine that looked both rich and expensive, I asked him for a drink. “No, you definitely don’t want a drink of this it is not for you,” he said. Teasingly, I asked him “Why not?” He said, “Just trust me!” Feeling that I should drop the subject and just enjoy his company, I leaned in and kissed him gently on the lips and snuggled into his chest once again taking in his amazing fragrance. As always Michael was most definitely keeping something from me, he is always so secretive. I love that though. Hopefully our relationship can be in the open and not so secret, before the complications of it destroys our relationship. We fell into easy conversation about work and life in general but I knew our evening would soon come to an end.  As if Michael was sensing what I was thinking, he asks, “Susan, are you planning to go to your house or mine tonight?”  “I’m not sure, do you want me to come home with you or do you have some other plans after were done here,” I said knowing he would laugh.  “You are all I can handle in my world,” Michael said with a smile on his face. Blushing, I leaned in kissed him not caring who could possibly see. “I would love to spend the night with you, as long as my boss doesn’t get jealous!” I said teasing him. Laughing together we got up from the table hand in hand and walked to our cars. When we reached my car Michael pushed me against the car and kissed me, meanwhile his hands were all over my body. He was kissing me and teasing me everywhere. I pulled away because suddenly there was an audience. “We better go before we end up on Youtube,” I whispered into his ear as I nibbled on it. “My place” was all he could say. I got in my car smiling feeling excited about this sexy man I am involved with and started to drive over to Michael’s house. 

Chapter Two

The drive to Michael’s house is about fifteen minutes from the restaurant. The entire time all I could think about is being with Michael, he fascinates me, we can talk all night long and making love to him is better than any treat in the world. It is completely impossible to stop thinking about him. The entire drive I spaced off asking myself self questions like: I wonder where this relationship is going, I feel like he is the future I dreamed about as a young girl. Michael fills my every waking moment with thoughts of a future dreams are made of. The anticipation of our future is killing me I can’t wait to see what is next for us or if we will even have a future together. I came to a four way stop and proceed cautiously when suddenly a black car ran the stop sign smashing into my driver side door shattering glass everywhere and pushing me into on coming traffic where another car hit me head on. My head smashed into the air bag with a puff of smoke that made me cough I leaned back in the seat to survey my damages, tears were running downs my face and taking with them the blood from a head wound. My head is bleeding, my back hurts, but all in all it could be a lot worse. I reached for the door handle but my door was so badly smashed I could not open the door. I unfastened my seatbelt and attempted to climb over to the passenger seat, but there were people everywhere telling me to hold still and saying that an ambulance is on its way. The fear on their faces scared me but it was torture to see the fear in Michaels eyes, I don’t believe I have ever seen him so worried in the entire time I have known him, I must be hurt worse then I think. But worst of all is waiting for help to arrive it was torture being trapped in my car because I was starting to feel claustrophobic. Finally I could hear help coming.  Sirens were blaring, lights where flashing and everything became to overwhelming, and then everything went black.